


don't leave me again

by bookishpanda



Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [9]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Insomnia, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Nightmares, anxiety mention, platonic dukexiety - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishpanda/pseuds/bookishpanda
Summary: Remus has a nightmare about the time that Virgil left him. With the help of Remy and Patton, he finally finds a way to fix things with the anxious side.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067366
Kudos: 40





	don't leave me again

_a few years ago..._

“You’re so disgusting,” Virgil muttered, turning his back on Remus. “I can’t be here anymore.” Remus fell to his knees, watching as Virgil went through the door to the light side of the mind scape. Janus sunk out, leaving Remus all alone, the tears streaming down his face.

-

 _“Do you_ really _have to make_ those _kinds of jokes, Remus?” Virgil crossed his arms, the eyeshadow deep-set on his cheeks. “You’re so annoying, I can’t stand being around you._ ”

Remus jolted upright, a gasp escaping his lungs. Tears were streaming down his face, and he couldn’t see anything in his dark bedroom. He ran a hand through his hair, sniffling as he got out of bed, flipping on the light switch. Glancing around the room, he shuddered.

“It was just a dream, he doesn’t hate you anymore, Re. It’s okay,” He muttered to himself, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. Except he knew that these affirmations would do as much help as they ever did. He was always worried that he was being too much, too intrusive, too dirty, too stinky, too scary. He was terrified that the others would figure it all out, how insecure he was, how he used those jokes to boost his own confidence, and hoped they could forgive him. But how could they? How could _he_?

“Remus? You okay?” A knock at the door startled the dark side of creativity, and Virgil’s voice brought him back down to reality. “I can sense your anxiety, wanna let me in to talk about it?”

“No, it’s fine, go back to bed, Virgil,” Remus tried making his voice sound confident, but it wavered as he spoke the name of the anxious side, so Virgil opened the door and closed it behind him. “Please, no,” Remus sank down to the floor, hugging himself closer. Virgil got on his knees beside him, placing a hand on his back.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on, please,” He said, voice soft. “Did you have a bad dream or something?”

“Not a dream. It was a nightmare,” Remus’ voice cracked, the tears spilling over again as he remembered Virgil’s words in the dream. “Please leave me alone.”

“I’m getting Remy and Patton,” Virgil said before sinking out of the room. Remus crumpled further onto the floor, sobs wracking his body. He wanted to scream, but unconsciousness once again found him.

 _“Why are you even here, Remus? You do no one any good, Thomas doesn’t need you like he needs the rest of us,” Virgil was standing over Remus, who was on the floor. All of the other sides were surrounding him, too. “Even Janus has a purpose, but you? You’re_ nothing _.”_

_“I’m glad we split, I’d hate to be anything like you,” Roman growled, crossing his arms, chuckling darkly._

_“He’s so disgusting, I can’t stand it anymore.” Patton spat at him, grinning evilly. “We should give him a taste of his own medicine.”_

Remus was awoken by two arms supporting him and laying him down on the bed. He opened his eyes weakly to see Patton, deep shadows under his eyes, and Remy not far behind. Virgil was somewhere, he knew it, he could sense him. 

“Hey, kiddo. You wanna talk about it?” Patton got into bed besides him, holding him closely. “If not, we can just lay here.” Remy got in on the other side of Remus, and Virgil sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed.

“Y-you don’t hate me?” Remus couldn’t help the sobs that shook through his body again, and he buried his face in Patton’s chest. The moral side rubbed circles on his back, shushing him gently.

“No, Remus, no one hates you,” He cooed, holding him as close as possible. “Is that what your nightmare was about?”

“Everyone h-hated me,” Remus hiccuped. “Like… like Virgil used to… like he… probably still does…” Patton shot Virgil a concerned look, and Remy ran a hand through Remus’ hair. 

“Re, I don’t hate you,” Virgil said softly. He rubbed part of Remus’ leg, but the creative side flinched away.

“I’m _disgusting_ ,” Remus muttered, crying more. “I’m annoying, and too much, and ugly, and trash, and awful.” Patton continued to rub circles on his back.

“Remus, no one thinks that. We all love you, kiddo,” He whispered gently. Remus shook his head, trying to push the fatherly figment away. “Hey, _no_. You don’t get to push us away. We’re here for you, and we love you.”

“Don’t lie,” Remus whined. Janus popped into the room in that moment, crossing his arms. “See, I knew it, you’re lying, that’s why he’s here!”

“Remus.” Janus’ voice was dark, and he sighed. “No one here is lying. Patton is telling you the truth. But _you’re lying to yourself_.”

“I’m not! You all hate me! Why else would Virgil _leave me_?” He cried out, shaking, and Virgil put his hood over his head.

“You’re only saying these things to protect yourself,” Patton murmured softly. “I understand, Remus. You don’t want to get hurt again. But no one here is going to hurt you, okay?” Patton gave a nod to Remy, and Sleep set a hand on Remus’ back, easing him into a dreamless sleep.

-

When Remus woke up, it was dark in his room and he was being cuddled from behind. He assumed it was Patton until he saw the patchy sleeve of Virgil’s hoodie, and he cringed away from the sleeping side. It woke up anxiety, and Virgil rubbed at his eyes.

“Re, are you okay?” He asked sleepily. Remus hugged himself tightly again, glaring at Virgil, who sighed and sat up. “Remus, please… I don’t hate you. I never did. I was just… scared, because I realized how awful _I_ had become.”

“But you _left me_ …” Remus said softly. Virgil pulled Remus into his arms, and the intrusive side didn’t fight it. He leaned into the touch. “I missed you when you left, Virgil.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Remus,” Virgil pressed a kiss to the top of Remus’ head. “I won’t leave you again, I promise.”

Remus nodded, accepting that statement as the truth. “And if I have a nightmare again…?”

“I promise I’ll be right here to guide you through it.”


End file.
